This is a very thought provoking question MiMi. As you know I muse a lot about SquidEtiquette and Netiquette and the biggest thing I have learned since I joined Squidoo is how many people with learning disabilities and mental health issues use the social networking available on the Internet.
This realisation has had a profound effect on the way I interact with people particularly on the SquidU Forum.
I suppose it depends on the way you look at it whether you think the Internet is a safe or a dangerous environment, particularly for people who may have difficulty in interpreting guidelines or developing an awareness of the "social boundaries". People who may take things too literally or perhaps even obsess when someone either disagrees with them or does something they do not like.
(Mind you I have seen people who do not have any Learning Difficulties etc, being pretty obsessive about stuff as well ;))
However, forums on the Internet can be a safe environment because no one has to give an instant response to any discussion - you can take as long as you want to post a reply to a thread. If you are having a bad day, you can wait for a good one before you interact.
So my approach these days is that for a lot of people it takes a lot of courage to make that first post on SquidU to say hello. It takes a huge amount of courage to ask for a critique on your first lens and for some people just voicing an opinion is one of the bravest steps they can make.
I tell myself that no one sets out to deliberately upset others and I try give them the benefit of the doubt. Mind you I don't always succeed, particularly if their whole approach is one of arrogance rather than ignorance.......
The best comment I have seen about this sort of situation came from GrannySage on the SquidU Forum a couple of weeks back, when she said that she tries to look at what the person is trying to say rather than how they said it.
Squidoo has taught me that an online community focused on a goal is way more likely to be healthy in its communications, than an online community which isn't.
I know that may sound a tad bit optimistic, given how much people complain about spam and so on at squidu, but really - my experience of online forums is that it's usually a lot of fluf, argument and so on. In that perspective, squidu and the squidoo community in general are WAY more positive and productive.
I have Asperger Syndrome, a type of high functioning autism. That means that I find it almost impossible to interact with people using the spoken word. My difficulty making normal-looking eye contact and body postures makes it hard for others to see eye to eye with me in more ways than one. I look odd, I behave strangely, I'm like a cat trying to imitate an octopus. So people are afraid or upset or uncomfortable around me. They put up a hard spiky shell and behave as if they don't care, which, to me, makes them seem uncaring.
Squidoo has taught me that writing has a way of cracking through what seem to be uncaring exteriors to caring hearts underneath. When speaking online, whether through a lens or on the forum, people react to it like I'm a person, an equal, not a cat trying to be an octopus.
I can speak with the spoken word but I cannot communicate. In writing, I can communicate and on Squidoo, I can do even more, I can converse! If I write a magazine article, I am communicating, too, but it is not a conversation. Squidoo makes writing a conversation - and the things I've learned in those conversations are wonderful!
I took a chance and wrote about my experiences of homelessness. I did this elsewhere and got some abusive comments and a few lukewarm encouraging comments but the Squidoo reaction was different. I got an outpouring of support and an inbox full of people asking what they could do to best help the homeless. People wrote me asking if they could use my words to help homeless people through their church, homeless shelter, soup kitchen, or with their own two hands. People also asked how they could help me.
So, I learned from Squidoo that though speaking terrifies me I can have conversations with thousands - and they are well worth talking to.
This is a very thought provoking question MiMi. As you know I muse a lot about SquidEtiquette and Netiquette and the biggest thing I have learned since I joined Squidoo is how many people with learning disabilities and mental health issues use the social networking available on the Internet.
ReplyDeleteThis realisation has had a profound effect on the way I interact with people particularly on the SquidU Forum.
I suppose it depends on the way you look at it whether you think the Internet is a safe or a dangerous environment, particularly for people who may have difficulty in interpreting guidelines or developing an awareness of the "social boundaries". People who may take things too literally or perhaps even obsess when someone either disagrees with them or does something they do not like.
(Mind you I have seen people who do not have any Learning Difficulties etc, being pretty obsessive about stuff as well ;))
However, forums on the Internet can be a safe environment because no one has to give an instant response to any discussion - you can take as long as you want to post a reply to a thread. If you are having a bad day, you can wait for a good one before you interact.
So my approach these days is that for a lot of people it takes a lot of courage to make that first post on SquidU to say hello. It takes a huge amount of courage to ask for a critique on your first lens and for some people just voicing an opinion is one of the bravest steps they can make.
I tell myself that no one sets out to deliberately upset others and I try give them the benefit of the doubt. Mind you I don't always succeed, particularly if their whole approach is one of arrogance rather than ignorance.......
The best comment I have seen about this sort of situation came from GrannySage on the SquidU Forum a couple of weeks back, when she said that she tries to look at what the person is trying to say rather than how they said it.
Great advice!
Squidoo has taught me that an online community focused on a goal is way more likely to be healthy in its communications, than an online community which isn't.
ReplyDeleteI know that may sound a tad bit optimistic, given how much people complain about spam and so on at squidu, but really - my experience of online forums is that it's usually a lot of fluf, argument and so on. In that perspective, squidu and the squidoo community in general are WAY more positive and productive.
I have Asperger Syndrome, a type of high functioning autism. That means that I find it almost impossible to interact with people using the spoken word. My difficulty making normal-looking eye contact and body postures makes it hard for others to see eye to eye with me in more ways than one. I look odd, I behave strangely, I'm like a cat trying to imitate an octopus. So people are afraid or upset or uncomfortable around me. They put up a hard spiky shell and behave as if they don't care, which, to me, makes them seem uncaring.
ReplyDeleteSquidoo has taught me that writing has a way of cracking through what seem to be uncaring exteriors to caring hearts underneath. When speaking online, whether through a lens or on the forum, people react to it like I'm a person, an equal, not a cat trying to be an octopus.
I can speak with the spoken word but I cannot communicate. In writing, I can communicate and on Squidoo, I can do even more, I can converse! If I write a magazine article, I am communicating, too, but it is not a conversation. Squidoo makes writing a conversation - and the things I've learned in those conversations are wonderful!
I took a chance and wrote about my experiences of homelessness. I did this elsewhere and got some abusive comments and a few lukewarm encouraging comments but the Squidoo reaction was different. I got an outpouring of support and an inbox full of people asking what they could do to best help the homeless. People wrote me asking if they could use my words to help homeless people through their church, homeless shelter, soup kitchen, or with their own two hands. People also asked how they could help me.
So, I learned from Squidoo that though speaking terrifies me I can have conversations with thousands - and they are well worth talking to.